Stepping out of my comfort zone on Father's Day weekend

We signed up weeks ago, my 9yo son G- and I, without me really thinking about it. A Father/Son basketball camp at the University of Colorado, Boulder, with CU Coach Jeff Bzdelik running the camp and all the CU men's basketball team players involved. Sounded like a great "bonding experience" with my son, right?

It was great fun. Really great fun.

What I didn't think through was that just maybe I wouldn't be ready for my half of the camp: I'm not an athlete and never played any organized sports at all in high school or college.

Predictably, the day after, I am sore as heck after two days of doing the same drills the team players do, playing one on one, two on two, three on three and four on four scrimmage games, and running around having a great time and using muscles that weren't quite ready for the burst of activity.

Okay, I'm not 22 and I'm not an obsessive athlete like so many people I know here in Boulder (people who haven't been here have no idea of the zeal with which locals engage in their favorite physical activity, be it bicycling, rock climbing, running, marathons, etc. I'm pretty sure we have more professional athletes and Olympians per capita than any other city in the United States).

We spent an hour during the second afternoon, just us Dads, a local high school basketball coach and CU Coach Bzdelik, talking about how to coach boys, how to be supportive while trying to get them to excel and be their best, and how to focus on attitude and effort because that's really all we can demonstrate and teach anyway.

What surprised me during that time, though, was that at one point someone asked "who was on a high school or college athletic team?" and I was the only man in the entire room who didn't raise his hand. I thought "nope, I was in marching band so I could avoid sports, and didn't do any organized sports at all in college" but didn't say anything.

Later in the conversation it became clear to me that about half the men in the room were basketball coaches, high school, junior high, and informal leagues through the YMCA and Rec Centers.

So there I was, for an entire weekend, trapped doing drills and playing basketball with a bunch of older athletes (median Dad age was probably 40) and keeping up. Damn. When did that happen?

Of course, keeping up often meant that we guys were all equally out of breath and sweating profusely after a three minute two-on-two, but at least I kept up and even sunk a sweet three-pointer during one game. :-)

More seriously, the CU Basketball Camp really was great fun and it was fun to step wayyy out of my comfort zone to do something that I'd never have done by myself: go to a sports camp. I know my son had a wonderful time and will remember this for the rest of his life.

Oh, and Coach Bzdelik, the rest of the coaching staff, and, most importantly, the CU men's basketball team were delightful to hang around, supportive and wonderful with the boys, whether they made a shot, tripped up, totally got directions wrong during drills, or had to watch us old guys run around! My compliments to them all, they're fine role models for our boys!

Here are a few pics to give you a flavor of this fun weekend:

The little guys in this pic are the sons, the tall guys? That's half the CU mens basketball team. Y'know what? I think they had a great time coaching the little guys and a few good laughs with us dads too!

Oh, the boy down? The boys ended up just as exhausted as us dads. Which made me feel good too. Or shouldn't I admit that? :-)

A line up of boys just moments before they were going to start yet another drill.

As you can see, the CU players messed around, taking shots and showing us their slam-dunk technique. How do they jump so high that they can hang on the rim? Oh, that's right, they're 6'8" or taller!

Some of the CU players had fun playing one-on-one with the boys too. This is CU team star Levi Knutson demonstrating his shooting technique to my son, who was sure he'd be able to dribble the ball between Levi's legs. He didn't.

My thanks to the CU basketball team for a great weekend!

Happy Father's Day. Now, get out of your comfort zone and have some fun.

Strategies for coping with gestational diabetes?

A close friend of mine is rather panicking right now as her pregnancy has progressed because she's been diagnosed with rather serious gestational diabetes. Here's what she told me:

"Was diagnosed at about 28 weeks and we are having trouble getting it under control. Diet changes and all - the #'s are still high. They were concerned at the Doc's yesterday about baby's tummy being ahead two weeks than the rest of his body - and of course scared the shit out of me. They upped my insulin to four times a day rather than just once a day... Do you know much about it?"

Can you help her with some advice or suggestions?

I have to admit that I don't know much about gestational diabetes but am glad to report that we side-stepped this issue with our three pregnancies. Here's what I could dig up on the National Diabetes Information Clearinghouse (a division of NIH) about gestational diabetes:

"Gestational diabetes is diabetes that is found for the first time when a woman is pregnant. Out of every 100 pregnant women in the United States, three to eight get gestational diabetes. Diabetes means that your blood glucose (also called blood sugar) is too high. Your body uses glucose for energy. But too much glucose in your blood can be harmful. When you are pregnant, too much glucose is not good for your baby."

"Changing hormones and weight gain are part of a healthy pregnancy. But both changes make it hard for your body to keep up with its need for a hormone called insulin. When that happens, your body doesn't get the energy it needs from the food you eat."

This is all quite interesting, but I'm at a loss for helping out my friend.

Can you offer her some advice, suggestions or even calming words as she proceeds with the last trimester of her pregnancy? Thanks!

Activities for you to do with your baby on a rainy day

There are plenty of low cost activities that you and your baby can do together as a family on a rainy day. When the weather is not at its best then this may mean you stuck in the house with nothing to do other than watch TV or a DVD but that need not be the case! A bit of imagination and fun is all that is required in order for all of you to have a day to remember!

Babies love to explore. Why not get together some small portions of your baby's favourite finger foods and hide them about the house. You can mix up sweet and savoury and the treat is that your baby can eat the food when they have found them. Your baby will find this game fun and will only get bored when they are full up. You can also try this with their favourite teddy bears and dolls. It is a delight to watch their little faces amazed at what they can find.

Another activity is to gather up a few old shoe boxes and cut holes in the lids for your child's hand to get through but make sure they cant see what's in the box. In the box you can fill it with lots of different sensory objects such as feathers, cubes of jelly, marshmallows, a velvet pillow, pebbles and ice to name but a few. Have a look in your cupboards and see what objects you have that have different sensations that your child will enjoy.

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"Imagination Movers" and the quality of children's music

Somehow, I'm not entirely sure how, I have landed on the promo list for Disney Music and every month or two get a music CD aimed at the 3-7 set. Most of them are pretty good, but I have to admit that the latest disk they've sent us is quite astonishingly good and very worth a listen.

The disk is Disney's Imagination Movers: For Those About to Hop and it's songs from the hit Disney TV series, which we've never watched and I have no clue about other than to say that the music rocks.

With 22 tracks from the show (I believe) and an additional five "bonus songs" the disk has lots of peppy music for your little ones.

More importantly, though, with its mix of hip-hop, rap, and dance music, there are just one heck of a lot of highly listenable, quite catchy tunes. In fact, Nina's Song has been stuck in my head for days now, partially because my 5yo K- has a friend named Nina and thinks it's awesomely awesome that there's a song about her: we've listened to it at least two dozen times.

My biggest question, though, is: when did kids music become so good?

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Are slings a simple solution for babies with colic?

If your newborn cried for more than 3 hours, more than 3 days for more than 3 weeks then your pediatrician was likely to hold colic responsible.

While it can be comforting to know why your little one is in such distress, the diagnosis of colic still leaves much to be explained since there is no one proven cause of colic. Without knowing what is causing the problem, it can be quite difficult to prevent and stop. Thankfully, babies diagnosed with colic are otherwise considered to be healthy, thriving infants.

Unfortunately, colic outbursts typically occur in the late afternoon or early evening when you're already tired from a full day and ready to relax at home with your family. Any parent who has experienced colic with a newborn can attest that fits of colic are likely to wear out both the child and parents. Dealing with colic in a state of exhaustion tends to make the whole situation even more challenging for parents. Needless to say when your little bundle of joy is no longer joyful, but rather is wailing uncontrollably, the only thing you care about is finding a way to make it stop and make it stop sooner rather than later.

It takes little more than a quick Google search to find an endless list of colic remedies from gripe water and probiotic drops to infant massage and swaddling techniques being are touted by parenting experts. To a new parent, it can seem that there are as many suggested remedies for colic as there are colicky babies. So what is an exhausted and overwhelmed new parent to do?

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Photo Shoot: Colorado Railroad Museum in Miniature

Last week my son G- and I went to Golden to visit one of my favorite places, the Colorado Railroad Museum. There are tons of trains in various states of repair (and disrepair) on the many acres of this museum and it's a great place for kids to climb around and generally get a bit of the train bug. It's also in Coors town, so it's not far to drive for a beer after wandering trains for a dusty afternoon, but that's another story!

What many people probably don't ever see, however, is the model train layout in the basement of the museum building maintained by the Denver train club (and various others, I don't recall).

Sure, I could show you pictures of the "train layout" but I was more interested in the incredibly good job that the model makers have done portraying an idyllic early Colorado.

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Memories of our journey to NYC on the Queen Mary

I mentioned a while ago on Twitter that when my family emigrated from England to the United States, we actually took the rather famous ship The Queen Mary, and to my surprise, the PR team at the Queen Mary (which is now a floating museum permanently docked in Long Beach, California) contacted me and asked if we had any pictures.

The RMS Queen Mary

We took the trip in 1963, so I have no memories of it, so I asked my Dad if he had any pictures. He responded:

"Sorry, no pictures of our transatlantic crossing. We were too busy being seasick to even think of taking photos!"

His story, no, our story, follows...

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Share an offbeat NBA stat, win tickets to the All-Star game!

I'm a big fan of basketball and am usually up for a pickup basketball game when I'm at the gym or just playing "horse" with a kid or two. I can sink a fair number of three-pointers too, but I have to admit that half-court games are more fun than the ceaseless back and forth of a full court game. Yeah, that's what happens when you get older, I guess. :-)

As a basketball fan, I was enthused when HP contacted me and asked if I'd help out with the launch of their slick new DV2 netbook, tied to a pretty cool NBA promotion.

What I like about it is that you can win one of ten regulation NBA basketballs signed by an active player or - better yet - a trip to the 2010 NBA All-Star Game in Dallas: includes travel, accommodations and tickets for the games.

But wait, there's more...

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Is co-sleeping a barrier to divorce?

I received a very interesting query from a reader:

I am looking for a little advice. I am contemplating divorce and one of my many concerns is the fact that I co-sleep with my 9 year old boy and 6 year old daughter (in my daughters room). I love sleeping with my kiddos, but, I fear I have made them a little too dependent on me. If I were to go through with the divorse, they would obviously have to spend time with their dad and sleep over without me. This, among everything else, is going to upset them greatly.

Even though I love snuggling with them, I think I need to try and break this habit before I go do anything else. I would like them to feel comfortable and able to sleep alone, but, I don't know where to start.

My thoughts are...

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The 100 Hour Test Drive: 2009 Ford Mercury Mariner Hybrid

Since I started driving, I've owned 10 cars: a Chevy Nova, a Chevy Malibu, a Mazda RX4, a Toyota Tercel, a Toyota Supra, a Chrysler Town & Country, a Volvo C70, a Volvo XC90, a Toyota Prius and now, a Toyota Highlander Hybrid. That's a lot of cars.

I've been to auto shows and certainly have the basics of car ownership down, though I'm definitely not a car nut or fanatic. In fact, there are plenty of things I'd rather talk about than cars. But then again, I like cars and enjoy watching the evolution of automotive technology, and appreciate a sexy new sportscar or luxury vehicle.

That's why it was enticing when Melissa Smith of Automotive Media Solutions sent me this query:

"I am wondering if you would like an opportunity to document the experience of test driving a sporty Ford Focus or Mercury Mariner Hybrid for a few days?"

My initial response was that the Focus sounded interesting, but what I was actually thinking about was the upcoming Ford Fusion, which I've seen before and was very impressed with. Alas, the Fusion wasn't available (it's a 2010 model year car for Ford) so as someone who has many years of experience driving hybrids, I thought that the Mercury Mariner Hybrid would be an interesting experience.

And so, a few days ago the PR company dropped off a shiny new silver Mariner with just about every option installed, and we were off to the proverbial races!

Continue reading The 100 Hour Test Drive: 2009 Ford Mercury Mariner Hybrid

Do you have a college trust set up for your kids?

My children are young still, but I've been thinking about college expenses for many years now, wanting to both stash some money away each year to help me from panicking if one of them says "hey, Dad, I've been accepted into Harvard!" or "Yes, Dad, the London School of Economics looks like my best bet."

Each of which will be inevitably followed by...

"You can pay for me to go there, right, Daddy-ums?"

What I don't want to do is freeze, panic, gasp, feel a thumping in my head and faint. No, much preferable would be to be able to say "no worries, sweetheart, we've got plenty enough in the bank to cover your tuition and basic expenses!"

The question is, how do you best set this up for your children nowadays?

Continue reading Do you have a college trust set up for your kids?

Learning how to shave again?

A few weeks ago I took the plunge and after almost 20 years of sporting a beard and mustache, I switched to a goatee, which means that the edges of my jaw are now exposed to people in a way that hasn't happened in a long, long time.

The reaction? Almost no guys noticed, and almost all the women I know immediately knew what had changed. I'd say it's been 95% positive and I have heard nice things like "makes you look younger" and, my favorite, "Mmmm... nice. Sexy." Yeah, I'll take that one any time. :-)

My kids weren't so sure and when I first showed up with the new facial appearance they all agreed they didn't like it so much. Fast forward a few hours and they were no longer even aware of it or paying attention. No problem.

What's funny is that I experienced "new car syndrome" when I shaved and then suddenly I was surrounded by guys with goatees. At restaurants, the bookstore, the library, everyone from senior executives to homeless people were sporting the same facial hair that I'd just selected. Moral of the story? If I'm not going to shave like Hugh Jackman did for his Wolverine role, I ain't going to be unique on facial hair alone.

More to the point, suddenly having most of my face supposed to be just smooth skin brings up a challenge I haven't faced in years: how the heck do you accomplish that?

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Can you still be considered an attachment parent if you use a stroller?

I often wonder when it comes to parenting styles; do you have to choose one way or the other? Can you still be considered an ap parent if you occasionally drift over into mainstream parenting practices?

For the most part, my parenting style seems to be in line with attachment parenting. I have always been very attentive and responsive to my daughter's needs which has included breastfeeding, co-sleeping and frequent carrying her in a sling. But I have to admit there were times when using a stroller was the only option for me. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved carrying my daughter in a sling or Mei Tai. In fact most days, you could be sure to find her snuggled up next to me in one or the other. But there were some days it just didn't seem to work with our plans for the day.

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Review: "State of Play" with Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck and Rachel McAdams

This review has moved over to my movie blog:




Review: State Of Play

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Mama needs help: baby wakes her up every night

Got this query:

"I am a 30 week pregnant mum of a 20 month old toddler. I was at home for the first year and have worked for 6 months. I co sleep withmy toddler who is still beastfeeding ..... but he wakes so regularly at night .... I am the only one who can feed him back to sleep. He is struggling with excema that seems to be getting worse and the advice that I have had from the medical profession and homeopath is that I should stop breastfeeding and co sleeping .... I would love to find out more about anyone who has been in the same position and got through it with some sanity."

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Babywearing: it's not just for babies!

If visions of infants in slings and wraps typically come to mind when you think of babywearing, you might be pleasantly surprised to find out that your carriers can still be quite beneficial for toting your toddler around.

You may not be able to carry your (slightly larger) bundle of joy as long as you once did, but nevertheless you can still get plenty of use out of your carrier. Just like younger babies, toddlers enjoy seeing the world from an adult’s point of view. Carrying your toddler on your hip or back can incite new conversations with your child about everyday events that he may not have experienced otherwise.

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What's more important, a parenting schedule or the needs of the kids?

As regular readers of this blog know, I'm a single co-parenting divorced Dad to three children, a 12yo girl, a 9yo boy and a 5yo girl. My ex and I are blessed to live within about a mile of each other and each of us has a place with sufficient room for all of the children to stay with either of us.

Linda has stayed in the house bought in 2002, almost seven years ago, when we came to Colorado, and I have the smaller place that we've had for about fifteen months, since we first separated.

That's the back story.

Here's the dilemma we face: while I think it's pretty darn important for the children to feel that both houses are their homes and move smoothly from place to place, the fact is that each of them, in different ways, have made it pretty clear that the never ending transitions of our four-nights with Mom, three nights with Dad parenting schedule is driving them bonkers.

Continue reading What's more important, a parenting schedule or the needs of the kids?